Growing Trend of Americans Cutting Off Relationships Rather Than Resolving Conflicts

Nearly two in five Americans have severed contact with a friend or family member in the past year, according to a new survey that highlights a growing tendency to walk away from difficult relationships rather than work through problems.

The March 2023 survey of 2,000 adults, conducted by Talker Research for therapy platform Talkspace, found that 38% of respondents had gone “no contact” with someone close to them within the previous 12 months.

“These results suggest that avoiding relationship challenges is becoming more common,” said Dr. Nikole Benders-Hadi, chief medical officer at Talkspace. “But that approach can come with its own risks, making it harder to sustain meaningful connections over time and leading to more loneliness.”

The survey revealed a striking generational divide in this trend. Younger Americans are far more likely to cut off relationships, with 60% of Generation Z respondents reporting they had gone “no contact” with someone. This compares to 50% of millennials, 38% of Gen X, and just 20% of baby boomers.

John Puls, a Florida-based psychotherapist and adjunct professor at Florida Atlantic University, has observed this pattern in his clinical practice, particularly among young adults cutting ties with their parents.

“This generation appears to have a low tolerance for otherwise poor behavior from their parents,” Puls explained. “They are often conflict-avoidant, which prevents them from trying to meaningfully work through their issues with their parents.”

He added that parents frequently contribute to the problem by refusing to examine their role in conflicts, creating situations where “neither party is willing to compromise or take ownership.”

The survey identified feeling disrespected as the top reason for severing ties, cited by 36% of respondents. Nearly 30% said the relationship negatively affected their mental health or that the other person was too negative.

These relationship fractures often persist. Among those who reported going “no contact” in the past year, 59% said they were still not speaking to the person at the time of the survey.

The findings suggest that avoiding difficult conversations has become a broader social tendency. Nearly three-quarters of respondents (73%) admitted their instinct during relationship problems is to distance themselves rather than communicate and work through issues.

Other avoidance behaviors were also common. More than a third of respondents had blocked a family member or friend on social media in the past year, while 30% had removed someone from a group chat.

Some experts have suggested that media messaging, including from celebrities and influencers, may have helped normalize this “cutoff culture.” While the Talkspace-sponsored study hasn’t undergone peer review, it aligns with concerns mental health professionals have been voicing about relationship avoidance behaviors.

Most experts agree that completely cutting contact should be a last resort, not a default response to conflict. “I always recommend my patients try ongoing family therapy, compromise and implementing boundaries,” Puls advised, noting that going no-contact often leads to “long-term regret and resentment.”

Nari Jeter, PhD, a Florida-based licensed marriage and family therapist, echoed this sentiment. “Some people think that once you go no-contact, you’ll immediately feel peace — that’s usually not the case,” she said. “This is often a heart-wrenching and even agonizing process.”

However, Jeter emphasized that cutting contact doesn’t have to be permanent. “No contact can become fertile ground for future reconciliation,” she noted, suggesting that time apart might ultimately lead to healthier relationships if both parties are willing to work through their differences.

As Americans navigate increasingly complex social landscapes, the growing tendency to sever ties rather than address conflicts poses significant questions about the future of interpersonal relationships and their impact on mental health and community bonds.