Confronting Misogyny in the Digital Age: A Conversation with Dr. Cynthia Miller-Idriss

The rise of online misogyny and extremism presents a growing challenge for parents raising boys in today’s digital landscape. In her forthcoming book “Man Up: The New Misogyny and the Rise of Violent Extremism,” Dr. Cynthia Miller-Idriss offers crucial insights into these challenges and provides practical guidance for addressing them.

As the founding director of the Polarization and Extremism Research Innovation Lab (PERIL) at American University, Dr. Miller-Idriss brings both scholarly expertise and practical solutions to combating what has become known as the “manosphere” – online spaces that often masquerade as self-help communities for males while promoting misogynistic content.

“Most important is listening to what they are saying—over the dinner table or in the car pool with friends—and being alert for how they are potentially being influenced by these ideas,” Dr. Miller-Idriss explains when asked how parents can protect their sons from extremist influence.

Rather than reacting with judgment, she advocates approaching these conversations with openness and curiosity. Her research shows significant value in positioning children as experts in explaining their online experiences. She suggests specific conversation starters for parents, including asking children to explain how memes work, discussing how online content dictates gender expectations, and inquiring about seemingly innocuous terms like “girlmath” that may have problematic underpinnings.

Parents should remain vigilant for warning signs that their sons might be consuming extremist content. Dr. Miller-Idriss notes that teens might begin making statements like “women have it easier” or “feminism has gone too far.” They might also adopt clothing or stickers with anti-feminist or anti-LGBTQ+ messaging, or use manosphere terminology such as “alpha men,” “beta men,” or slang terms like “Chad” or “simp.”

“Using these terms doesn’t necessarily mean that kids are fully down the rabbit hole, but it does indicate they are exposed to these ideas in ways that merit discussion,” she cautions.

Addressing gendered destructiveness requires a multi-faceted approach. Dr. Miller-Idriss emphasizes the need to stop enforcing rigid gender norms – from telling boys to “man up” to expecting girls to be docile and pleasing. Men in particular have a crucial role to play in modeling healthier masculinity.

“Men can model, teach, and mentor boys and other men—on their sports teams, in their youth groups, in their classrooms, and in their households—toward a way of being a man that embraces a fuller set of emotional options and ways of caring for others,” she states.

In her book, Dr. Miller-Idriss identifies “containment” as the first of five strategies that fuels gendered harm. This concept refers to attempts to keep women and LGBTQ+ individuals “in their place” and out of male-dominated spaces. The recent widespread online use of the phrase “your body, my choice” following the 2024 U.S. presidential election exemplifies this dynamic, revealing how some men seek to reclaim power over women’s bodies.

Dr. Miller-Idriss offers a broader definition of misogyny that extends beyond hatred of women to encompass “the policing of patriarchal norms and expectations.” This perspective helps illuminate how restrictive gender norms harm everyone – including men and boys who become confined to narrow expressions of masculinity that limit their emotional capacity.

When asked what makes today’s gendered destructiveness more dangerous than in previous decades, Dr. Miller-Idriss points to the digital landscape. “The percentage of Americans who say they have been harassed online because of gender or sexual orientation has drastically increased,” she notes. The online environment doesn’t necessarily create these behaviors, but it amplifies them exponentially.

From direct messaging to in-game voice chats, revenge porn, cyberstalking, and explicit threats, digital platforms have created new avenues for harassment that can quickly escalate from online hate to offline violence. This rapid transmission and amplification of misogynistic content presents one of the most pressing challenges in addressing gender-based extremism in the digital age.