Study Finds Sleeping Apart May Harm Mental Well-being in Relationships

Contrary to trending notions of “sleep divorce,” new research suggests that sleeping separately from your partner might actually decrease psychological well-being, especially among older couples.

The study, published in the journal BMC Public Health, surveyed 860 older adult heterosexual couples in Northern Taiwan to investigate the connection between psychological health and sleeping arrangements. Researchers measured psychological well-being through indicators of happiness, life satisfaction and fulfillment, while employing detailed statistical methods to assess sleep measures.

Results revealed that older couples who slept in separate rooms reported worse psychological well-being compared to those who shared sleeping space. Interestingly, for these couples, simply sharing a home wasn’t as predictive of psychological well-being as sharing a bed.

“What’s unique about this new study is that it suggests the couple’s sleeping arrangement itself may influence well-being, highlighting how intimately sleep and relationships are linked in supporting health across the lifespan,” said Wendy Troxel, a senior scientist at the RAND Corporation and author of “Sharing the Covers: Every Couple’s Guide to Better Sleep.”

The findings come at a time when alternative sleeping arrangements have gained popularity in Western culture. The “Scandinavian sleep method” – using two separate duvets on one bed, common in Nordic countries like Sweden and Norway – has been promoted as a sleep quality solution. Meanwhile, celebrities like Matthew McConaughey have publicly credited separate sleeping arrangements with helping their relationships.

However, Troxel, who wasn’t involved in the study, noted important limitations. The research was cross-sectional, showing correlation but not necessarily causation.

“It may be that older couples who sleep apart already face health or sleep challenges, such as chronic illness, sleep apnea or insomnia, which affect both their decision to sleep separately and their mental health,” she explained. “The study also didn’t explore why or how couples made the decision to sleep apart, which is often the biggest factor in determining how that choice impacts the relationship.”

The research highlights what Troxel calls a “double vulnerability” affecting older adults regarding sleep and mental health. Studies show that up to half of adults over 60 report insomnia symptoms or other forms of disrupted sleep.

“As we age, sleep tends to be lighter and more fragmented, and we see a shift toward earlier bedtimes and wake times, and reduced slow-wave deep sleep,” Troxel said. Mental health factors more common with aging – including depression, loneliness and anxiety – can further disrupt sleep, creating what Troxel describes as a “feedback loop that undermines mental health.”

The physical benefits of sleeping together appear significant. Research shows that cuddling triggers the release of oxytocin – sometimes called the “love hormone” – and can lower stress hormones while promoting feelings of safety. These physiological responses can help with emotional regulation and improve sleep quality.

But shared sleeping isn’t without challenges. Partners moving around in bed, snoring and different body temperature preferences can cause sleep disruption. “Chronic poor sleep erodes mood, empathy and patience, key ingredients in a healthy relationship,” Troxel noted.

The expert emphasizes there’s no universal solution for healthy sleep arrangements. “For some, sharing a bed fosters closeness and security,” she said. “For others, especially when sleep disorders or incompatible habits are at play, separate bedrooms can be a wise and health-promoting choice, provided that couples arrive at this decision through open and honest communication.”

Couples who choose separate sleeping arrangements can still maintain connection through shared evening routines before heading to different beds.

“Ultimately, the healthiest sleeping arrangement is the one that supports consistent, quality sleep, emotional connection and long-term well-being,” Troxel concluded.

The study adds an important dimension to conversations about optimal sleep arrangements, suggesting that while “sleep divorce” might improve physical rest for some, the psychological benefits of sleeping together should be carefully considered before couples separate at bedtime.